severity_softly: (boosh - read it in a porno)
For those of you not following me on Twitter or FB, I HAD to share this link, because rofl!

Stare at boobs for longer life

(P.S. I have SUCH trouble titling posts, but not this time! Mwah!)
severity_softly: (text - i'm rad)
The Husband: What's that? *points to the Tupperware I was bringing Thanksgiving leftovers to work with*
Me: Thanksgiving.
The Husband: Wow, you have Thanksgiving in there? The whole holiday?
Me: Yes... because I'm made of magic.
severity_softly: (Default)
I love [livejournal.com profile] awkwardfampix. I've been reading my flist on a personal journals only filter lately, though, so I've missed some. I went back and checked out the feed today, and this made me giggle so much! (Also, these two.)

Also, has LJ been weird about comment notifications for anyone else? I haven't gotten anything in my email with comments from my last post, but I seem to be getting them from everywhere but my own journal just fine. O.o

ETA: For those of you who like The IT Crowd, [livejournal.com profile] crowson75 wrote a fabulous Moss/Richmond fic that was posted today! Morbid and Decadent
severity_softly: (goth detectives - subverted the format)
Did you know that if you call Travelocity customer service, they actually have an option to verbally request the "gnome joke of the day"? Because I didn't, and I've worked in hotels for almost four years.

I had to skip it the other day because I had to get a credit card authorization. But I called back this morning because curiosity was killing me. It was a knock knock joke. A really bad one (are there any good ones?). And they actually said something like "Now that we've brightened your day a little, if you're done, you can just hang up..." Do people really call just for the gnome jokes?

Oddly, I do want to call back on my next work day, though, to see if they use the same one every day and hope no one notices, or if it's changed. *headdesk*
severity_softly: (marx - strange interlude)
NGHHH SUGAR HIGH SUGAR HIGH SUGAR HIGH SUGAR HIGH.
severity_softly: (boosh - noel gasp)
This is the exact conversation I just had with C, my nice manager, who is somewhat computer/internet illiterate:

C: I have a question. It has nothing to do with work.
Me: Okay.
C: You know how people online have these acronyms? Like LOL is laughing out loud.
Me: Yeah.
C: And LMAO is... what, laughing my ass off?
Me: Yup.
C: Okay. So what does MILF mean?
Me: ...

Her response to the answer, when I finally gave it to her: Um... wow.

XD
severity_softly: (lms - olive facepalms)
So the TV situation is still not resolved. The husband finally cleared away most of the shit that was everywhere (much to our cat's dismay), though. The good TV is still on the floor, but we got rid of the old one today.

Instead of carrying it up the stairs, we decided to take it up the hill along the side of the building, which is how we got the heavy things IN the apartment in the first place. So we carry it out the back door, slide back door shut, get about ten feet and the husband loses his hold, so we put it down.

We never got any farther with the pick-up-and-carry method.

Oh we tried to pick it up again, but no. There was no doing it. The last time we tried, the husband lifted his end first and pulled toward him as he stood, which forced me to either fall or put all the weight in my back. I chose to drop forward to my knees rather than crack my spine, thank you very much.

Anyway, I was fine, and went to stand. Now let me first say, in my defense, that we were on uneven ground. I got about half-way into a standing position, then went off balance, toppled, and literally did a stunt roll down the hill.

Can I just say? It was made of awesome.

After that, we decided to roll the TV up the hill, because we are smart like that. I roll down, it rolls up; yin and yang. All that jazz...

Anyway, I thought I'd link you to something that's been amusing me greatly lately. It's something I'm amused about when I see it in RL, so it's funny to see a whole blog dedicated to it. I particularly like the funeral home card several entries down from the top: Unnecessary Quotes.

Oh, and I'm totally fine, btw. Not even a scrape on me. :)
severity_softly: (glee - jane and jayma)
My fortune cookie said: You will have a nice trip.

I would just like to know where the hell the good people at Zhu Garden think I'm going.
severity_softly: (cm - diana crazy)
1. I got a Dreamwidth invite today. I still haven't spent a lick of time doing anything on Dreamwidth, so I haven't figured out how to use it yet, but if you guys have one, I'm severity_softly over there too. Feel free to friend. Or subscribe. Or whatever it is you do over there. And when I figure it out, I'll do it back to you (rowr).

Oh, and does anyone know how to get Semagic to post to Dreamwidth (if possible)? I use it to post simultaneously to LJ and IJ, but I don't know enough about it to know if DW will work, or how to set it up to post to all three at once. Also, can LJ-sec transfer old posts over to DW?

2. This is the conversation I had with the drive through lady (DTL) when I stopped to get food on the way home.

Me: *orders* Is there anything I can get instead of fries with that?
DTL: Normally invisishy asjgdkhasjg condishy esh bagesh hgsjkhg, actually.
Me: ... I didn't understand that.
DTL: ...... No.

O.o I really want to know what the hell the first version of 'no' was, but I wasn't one to be rude.

3. A character meme! [livejournal.com profile] nebula99 gave me Diana Reid: Read more... )
severity_softly: (abfab - cooler than you)
The left side of my face is numb (and yet somehow I'm still achey). It feels a little paralized and I'm dribbling out the side of my mouth. Very sexy.

On the plus side, I can make awesome fart noises without even trying by just sucking in air. Rawk.
severity_softly: (cm - rossi sez drinky drinky)
No way is it indicative of how the rest of my day will go, I know, but when my first conversation of the morning goes like this, it's a pretty good start to my day. :)

Me: I want to go back to bed. I dreamed about Dave last night. Too bad he wasn't nekkid. ;)
Innerslytherin: Yes, Dave should be nekkid more often.
Me: Yes, dude. They did it on NYPD Blue. They could SO give us a little ass.
Innerslytherin: LMAO! Well, we did get a nice jeans-clad butt shot. I mean, I'm pretty happy with that, especially considering Aaron walks in right after that and you can pretend he was ogling Dave's butt too.
Me: Aaron so should have rubbed one off on him. Just a quickie. *sigh* Fangirls get no love. *gigglesnort*
Innerslytherin: LMAO! Dude, I thought the subtext was pretty good love. And Spencer being all rumpled and Derek being half-unzipped...I mean, we did get a sexy team at the beginning.
Me: C'mon, not even a quick frot?
Innerslytherin: LOL I'd be fine with that
severity_softly: (cm - reid unnngh lips and hair!)
My Spencer muse has decided that he has a thing for spanking his lovers during sex. No matter who his partner is.

Right now he wants to spank Aaron so bad that it's killing him that I won't let him. Heh.

Halp.
severity_softly: (cm - hotch mister sunshine)
I will not write a Hotch/Reid cross-over with HP, with Hotch-MPREG, in honor of Severus Snape's birthday.
I will not write a Hotch/Reid cross-over with HP, with Hotch-MPREG, in honor of Severus Snape's birthday.
I will not write a Hotch/Reid cross-over with HP, with Hotch-MPREG, in honor of Severus Snape's birthday.
I will not write a Hotch/Reid cross-over with HP, with Hotch-MPREG, in honor of Severus Snape's birthday.
I will not write a Hotch/Reid cross-over with HP, with Hotch-MPREG, in honor of Severus Snape's birthday...

I very simply refuse, wicked muse. Hmph.
severity_softly: (marx - chico and harpo)
And found this instruction:

Mix these ingredients well in large punch bowel

...

Ewwwwwww.
severity_softly: (Default)
Started my cleaning in prep for [livejournal.com profile] innerslytherin coming in. I broke out the Greased Lighting cleaner. Has anyone ever used this shit? I swear, it could strip the paint off a car. It's no joke. And also, you really should avoid breathing too much of it in. When I'm alone, I always talk to myself, but I discovered when I'm alone and high on cleaner, the talking gets weird. So I started coming up with slogans for the stuff:

Greased Lightening, the cleaner so hard core they named it after a musical.
Greased lightening, the cleaner that says, "I am no Donna Reed, biznitches."


And package warnings:

Do not spray Greased Lightening directly into cuts or wounds. (I did this. Ouch!) Wear a gas mask at all times when using Greased Lightening. Do not lock yourself in a small room with greased Lightening. Greased Lightening should be considered armed and very dangerous. Greased Lightening is highly volatile. If angered, Greased Lightening might kill you mother and eat your dog.

*cough* Okay, shutting up now. Though I might have brain damage. EEE AND CRIMINAL MINDS IN TEN MINUTES!!!!! Might be back with squeee. :DDDD

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