severity_softly: (marx - chico and harpo)
I've been trying to come up with something to say for a few days now. I have been feeling very introverted for a while now. Steph says she's noticed I've been withdrawing for a while, and now that she's pointed it out, I can see it. So I am going to try to attempt a real update. Wish me luck.

So last week I took off from work. I was having a major depressive episode, and none of my meds were working. I was dangerously depressed, and the husband even took off from work too just to make sure I didn't put myself in danger. We added a couple different medications, and finally hit on Seroquel, which seemed to have an immediate effect. Now we're playing with getting rid of the other meds to see if they were even helping. So far, only the Seroquel seems to have had an effect. I'm still depressed, but I don't feel like throwing myself in front of traffic anymore.

Anyway, I have been watching a lot of TV lately. Well, more than normal (which has been close to nothing). I've gotten into Dancing with the Stars, even if I don't know half the contestants. Poor Kate Gosselin. I loved Jon and Kate Plus Eight when I actually caught it (again, rarely watched TV), and the poor woman has been through so much lately. She is a horrible performer, but man is she brave to even attempt DwtS. I can't help but want to see her go far. And it's adorable that she always says 'I love you' to her kids every episode.

I also caught an episode of The Ghost Whisperer, and got sucked into an entire marathon. I watched it for hours, and it is so damn cheesy, but I couldn't stop watching. *sigh* I've been watching Project Runway and Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution too.

Also, I really want to call B (the guy who stole money and threatened another employee, then told me he had the hots for me). I could probably find a way to get his number. I know it's a stupid idea, but the guy needs help, and I can't just stop caring about him.

So as you can see, my life has been very exciting. Things have been okay since I came back to work. Not many people have asked questions, thankfully. I have a feeling I can probably kiss the idea of a promotion goodbye, though, between as much as I've been sick this spring and my recent absence. Ugh.

Oh look! A whole entry! I did it! So how are you guys?

new drug!

Apr. 2nd, 2010 12:26 pm
severity_softly: (goth detectives - b/c they were in love)
Been in a REALLY bad place for the last week or two.

It's probably too soon to tell, but I think Seroquel may be my new best friend.
severity_softly: (it crowd - moss/roy kiss your mind)
It's Sunday. Joy. A day of boring work. I was supposed to have yesterday off, but I got called in because someone else was sick. At least I got to go to the movies before I went in to work. We had movie gift certificates from Xmas, so me and the husband went out to see Alice in 3D. It was very good. Of course, what would you expect with Johnny Depp and/or Tim Burton? Anyway, I worked until 11, so I wound up just spending the night at work. I had to come right back and work again in 8 hours anyway. I didn't see the point in going home.

So I am planning to mention moving up to management to my boss. I just can't decide who to talk to. I would imagine the owner is the one in charge of promoting, etc. But his wife is the GM here. She would be easier to talk to, but I'm not sure if it's cheating to go to her when he's probably the one handling it. She IS his wife, though, so I know it will get back to him, and I see her more often. What do you guys think?

Feeling okay on the Wellbutrin. Not crying anymore. I still wish my creativity would return in full force. I hate not being able to come up with ideas to write and/or write the ideas I have. :(
severity_softly: (misc - happy pills)
Dr. M called me and left a message strongly advising me not to get off my meds abruptly. I haven't actually talked to her, but I still want to do it.

ETA: Just talked to her. She told me not to do anything rash and we should talk about doing it on my next visit. I hate this. I hate the waiting. I want to do it now. She said maybe I should wait until I've had a year of sobriety, then we could gradually ween me off the meds and see what happens. Fuck that shit.
severity_softly: (boosh - howard/vince homosexyness)
Well, I got up early today and read the first page of my flist (just the personal journals). I think I'm going to start doing that in the mornings now, since I'm getting up so much earlier than I used to. I've become really bad about reading it lately, so I'm sorry if I've been absent. I was talking to [livejournal.com profile] mcgarrygirl78 this morning about what a struggle it is to get through reading something lately. But this morning I read my flist instead of vegging and watching TV (on the computer), and I feel like I had a more productive start to my morning. So I think it's a habit I need to get into.

Anyway, my "old food adventure" is going quite well so far. It's 4 to my stomach (potatoes, hominy, beans and Ramen), and 0 to the old food (not including the stuff I tossed for smelling bad). It seems, so far, that the veggies have been okay, and the pastas are not. It's like the pastas seem to be leaching metal from the can. If I open one more can of pasta that smells so strongly of metal that it makes me sick, I'm tossing it all.

So speaking of [livejournal.com profile] mcgarrygirl78, I have a meme she posted, and she gave me the five words below the cut.

1. REPLY TO THIS MEME BY YELLING "MY NAME IS THE MASTER", AND I WILL GIVE YOU FIVE WORDS THAT REMIND ME OF YOU. (ETA: You don't really have to say that for me. Just tell me you want to do it.)
2. THEN POST THEM IN YOUR JOURNAL AND EXPLAIN WHAT THEY MEAN TO YOU.
3. KEEP IN MIND THAT IF I DON'T KNOW YOU THAT WELL, YOUR WORDS MIGHT END UP KIND OF ODD OR WEIRD. IF I DO KNOW YOU, YOUR WORDS WILL MAYBE PROBABLY BE WEIRD.

my five words )
severity_softly: (text - don't interupt when I talk to mys)
Medication made me sleep half the day away, so I didn't go to the tattoo place. I DID get some good cleaning done, though. My therapist recommended breaking everything down into manageable tasks, rather than try to tackle the whole apartment at once. That is what I'm trying to do, because normally I start, then I compulsively keep going, and maybe that's why I never keep it up. So here's the list. Hopefully I'll have the first eight done before [livejournal.com profile] innerslytherin gets here. :) (17 would be nice too, but we'll have to see. Wonder if we could use the carpet cleaner on the futon...)

Done: Bathroom, kitchen counters (and everything on them)

Left to do:
1. Refrigerator and stove burner trays (started)
2. Hallway walls and base boards throughout apartment
3. Shelves in dining room, dining room table and "cat's table"

4. Christmas box, end table, and coffee table
5. Bookshelves
6. Desk and papasan
7. DVD/VHS/CD shelves and entertainment center (if we ever get the freakin' TV IN the entertainment center!)
8. Use carpet cleaner (borrowed from husband's parents) throughout apartment

9. Straighten kitchen cabinets and pantry
10. Bedside table and floor by bed (and make the husband do his side)
11. Rest of bedroom (inc floorboards)
12. Overflowing laundry
13. Bedroom drawers and TV cabinet
14. clean up hall closets
15. work on clearing back bedroom a couple feet at a time

16. Create a cleaning schedule and STICK TO IT
17. Replace disgusting futon with a couch and get a cover for it

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