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severity_softlyTitle: An Alternate Method for Inhibition of Oppressive Thinking
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
severity_softly
Pairing: Reid/Ethan, implied unrequited Reid/any team member of your choosing (except JJ)
Rating: R (for drug use and sexual situations)
Word count: ~1,000
Summary: Ethan shows Reid a new form of distraction from his thoughts.
Notes: A coda to Jones. Angst. Beta'd by the wonderfulinnerslytherin. Pot facts taken from Wiki.
"Here." Ethan held the joint out, the sweet smelling smoke wafting toward Spencer, and Spencer shook his head.
"I shouldn't," he murmured, shifting uncomfortably in the chair on Ethan's back porch.
"You've been doing a lot of things you shouldn't lately, though, haven't you?"
Spencer sort of wished he could tell Ethan to stop pointing things like that out. He wished he could get up and leave too, but something was keeping him glued to the chair. "I've been told you never get high the first time."
"It's not about getting high."
When Spencer turned to look at Ethan, frowning, Ethan was grinning at him.
"I don't understand."
"It's about being free," Ethan said, reaching up to tap Spencer's temple.
Spencer flinched, and tilted his head away from the touch, then took the joint. "You know, they've done studies. Cannabis has been known to contain 20 times more ammonia and five times more hydrogen cyanide and nitrogen oxides than even cigarettes. And it's been linked to developing anxiety, depression and psychosis."
"That's bullshit." Ethan laughed. "Just shut up and turn off, Spencer. You're more than that."
"More than what?" Spencer knew the confusion on his face was only growing.
"More than what's inside that head of yours. You are more than what you know." Ethan shifted back and looked at the stars. "Took me a long time to learn that. That shit never goes away either, but you can learn to shut it up."
Spencer glanced up at the sky, then back at the roach between his fingertips. "I don't want to shut it up."
"You're afraid to shut it up. But you want to. Otherwise, you wouldn't be holding that right now." Ethan darted a significant glance at the joint, then sighed, sinking in his chair.
His legs were crossed, knees over the top of each other, his long calves flush against each other. Spencer had to force his gaze away. "It's oppressive," he finally admitted. "It never stops. I want to stop it, but I keep clinging to it anyway."
"Let it go." Ethan rolled his head to the side and smiled, gazing at Spencer. "But I can tell you, man, letting it go the way you have been is going to kill you. And I ain't coming to that funeral."
"You probably wouldn't even know I died." Spencer lifted the joint, then lowered it.
"You're right. I probably wouldn't." Ethan's voice sounded slightly defeated, but not upset.
"You turned into a hippy," Spencer said after a moment, willing to change the subject.
Ethan laughed. "I turned into a soul man," he said. "You're letting it burn up. Either take a toke, Spence, or pass that shit back."
Spencer looked at Ethan for a long moment, then lifted the joint. He hesitated, started to hand it back, and then finally brought it to his lips. He inhaled, and then gagged, his eyes watering. He sputtered a moment and then started coughing, passing the thing back as he tried to drag in a breath.
Ethan just laughed again. "Man, that never gets old."
"Shu--" Spencer dissolved into another fit of coughing before he could even start telling Ethan to shut up. Ethan was laughing at him now, and Spencer's frown had deepened. He swallowed hard, and closed his mouth, trying to stop coughing, and then Ethan's hand touched his shoulder and he froze. His breath was tight when he finally was able to breath again.
Ethan's hand reached up to brush his cheek. "You're pretty, you know that?"
"You're high," Spencer countered, tense under Ethan's fingertips.
"So my lips are looser," Ethan returned. "Are you still a virgin, man?"
"I-- I-- That's hardly your business."
"That would be a yes." Ethan's fingertips were in Spencer's hair.
"Stop," Spencer said, but his voice was small even to his own ears.
Ethan's hand stopped and drew away, and he shrugged and looked back up at the stars. Spencer was surprised by the disappointment that settled in his stomach.
"I get it. You don't dig guys."
"I never have." It wasn't the truth. Spencer had been watching one of his team mates for years. And from the look on Ethan's face, he didn't believe Spencer's lie. Spencer suddenly wondered how Ethan had seen in him what his team mates had probably never suspected. He clasped his hands in his lap and wished he could be as relaxed looking up at the sky as Ethan seemed to be. "You know... I, ah, I died recently. I, ah-- for a minute or so."
Ethan looked back, his eyes alight with interest, but he didn't say anything. He just waited for Spencer to speak again.
"There's no white light," Spencer said lightly.
Ethan laughed softly. "Did you expect one?"
Spencer considered it a moment. "No, I don't guess I did."
"You never struck me as the type to be into that religious mumbo-jumbo." Ethan reached out again and slid his fingers over Spencer's arm.
"I'm not." Reid cleared his throat and shifted, but didn't tell Ethan to stop this time, even if he had tensed again. "There was nothing, though. I... thought there'd be... something. I guess maybe I'm unrealistically hopeful."
"You're not an atheist?" Ethan still looked interested as he turned Spencer's hand and ran his fingers over Spencer's palm, tracing his life line.
"I, ah... I don't know what I am."
Ethan watched him for a moment. "Are we still talking about religion?"
Spencer looked at him and swallowed. "I don't know." The button at Spencer's wrist was worked open, and there were chills running through Spencer at the way Ethan touched him, his pulse surely racing under Ethan's fingertips. "I'm not losing my virginity to someone who won't remember it later," he whispered after a long pause.
"Man, I'll remember," Ethan murmured, then shifted, slithering out of his chair and coming to his knees in front of Spencer.
"Marijuana has--"
Ethan pressed his finger to Spencer lips. "I've always liked you, Spence."
Spencer lips parted. "Why-- why didn't you ever--?"
Ethan laughed. "We were always competing." His hand slid up under Spencer shirt, tracing his fingers over Spencer's chest, brushing a thumb over his nipple.
Spencer sucked in a breath, already getting hard in spite of himself. "Ethan..."
"I'm not gonna fuck you if you don't want that."
Spencer stared down at him, panting softly. "What are you going to do?"
Ethan grinned, and pulled open Spencer's fly. "I'm going to show you a better way to get high."
Then Spencer was enveloped in delicious, wet heat, pleasure sparking through him like he'd never felt before. He moaned and shifted into it automatically, then closed his eyes and thought of someone with warm brown eyes, someone he knew he had no business fantasizing about, someone just out of his grasp...
Someone he knew would never have him now that he was damaged goods.
His chest ached, and he shoved his thoughts away, preferring to focus on the slide of lips and tongue against him.
Author:
severity_softlyPairing: Reid/Ethan, implied unrequited Reid/any team member of your choosing (except JJ)
Rating: R (for drug use and sexual situations)
Word count: ~1,000
Summary: Ethan shows Reid a new form of distraction from his thoughts.
Notes: A coda to Jones. Angst. Beta'd by the wonderful
innerslytherin. Pot facts taken from Wiki."Here." Ethan held the joint out, the sweet smelling smoke wafting toward Spencer, and Spencer shook his head.
"I shouldn't," he murmured, shifting uncomfortably in the chair on Ethan's back porch.
"You've been doing a lot of things you shouldn't lately, though, haven't you?"
Spencer sort of wished he could tell Ethan to stop pointing things like that out. He wished he could get up and leave too, but something was keeping him glued to the chair. "I've been told you never get high the first time."
"It's not about getting high."
When Spencer turned to look at Ethan, frowning, Ethan was grinning at him.
"I don't understand."
"It's about being free," Ethan said, reaching up to tap Spencer's temple.
Spencer flinched, and tilted his head away from the touch, then took the joint. "You know, they've done studies. Cannabis has been known to contain 20 times more ammonia and five times more hydrogen cyanide and nitrogen oxides than even cigarettes. And it's been linked to developing anxiety, depression and psychosis."
"That's bullshit." Ethan laughed. "Just shut up and turn off, Spencer. You're more than that."
"More than what?" Spencer knew the confusion on his face was only growing.
"More than what's inside that head of yours. You are more than what you know." Ethan shifted back and looked at the stars. "Took me a long time to learn that. That shit never goes away either, but you can learn to shut it up."
Spencer glanced up at the sky, then back at the roach between his fingertips. "I don't want to shut it up."
"You're afraid to shut it up. But you want to. Otherwise, you wouldn't be holding that right now." Ethan darted a significant glance at the joint, then sighed, sinking in his chair.
His legs were crossed, knees over the top of each other, his long calves flush against each other. Spencer had to force his gaze away. "It's oppressive," he finally admitted. "It never stops. I want to stop it, but I keep clinging to it anyway."
"Let it go." Ethan rolled his head to the side and smiled, gazing at Spencer. "But I can tell you, man, letting it go the way you have been is going to kill you. And I ain't coming to that funeral."
"You probably wouldn't even know I died." Spencer lifted the joint, then lowered it.
"You're right. I probably wouldn't." Ethan's voice sounded slightly defeated, but not upset.
"You turned into a hippy," Spencer said after a moment, willing to change the subject.
Ethan laughed. "I turned into a soul man," he said. "You're letting it burn up. Either take a toke, Spence, or pass that shit back."
Spencer looked at Ethan for a long moment, then lifted the joint. He hesitated, started to hand it back, and then finally brought it to his lips. He inhaled, and then gagged, his eyes watering. He sputtered a moment and then started coughing, passing the thing back as he tried to drag in a breath.
Ethan just laughed again. "Man, that never gets old."
"Shu--" Spencer dissolved into another fit of coughing before he could even start telling Ethan to shut up. Ethan was laughing at him now, and Spencer's frown had deepened. He swallowed hard, and closed his mouth, trying to stop coughing, and then Ethan's hand touched his shoulder and he froze. His breath was tight when he finally was able to breath again.
Ethan's hand reached up to brush his cheek. "You're pretty, you know that?"
"You're high," Spencer countered, tense under Ethan's fingertips.
"So my lips are looser," Ethan returned. "Are you still a virgin, man?"
"I-- I-- That's hardly your business."
"That would be a yes." Ethan's fingertips were in Spencer's hair.
"Stop," Spencer said, but his voice was small even to his own ears.
Ethan's hand stopped and drew away, and he shrugged and looked back up at the stars. Spencer was surprised by the disappointment that settled in his stomach.
"I get it. You don't dig guys."
"I never have." It wasn't the truth. Spencer had been watching one of his team mates for years. And from the look on Ethan's face, he didn't believe Spencer's lie. Spencer suddenly wondered how Ethan had seen in him what his team mates had probably never suspected. He clasped his hands in his lap and wished he could be as relaxed looking up at the sky as Ethan seemed to be. "You know... I, ah, I died recently. I, ah-- for a minute or so."
Ethan looked back, his eyes alight with interest, but he didn't say anything. He just waited for Spencer to speak again.
"There's no white light," Spencer said lightly.
Ethan laughed softly. "Did you expect one?"
Spencer considered it a moment. "No, I don't guess I did."
"You never struck me as the type to be into that religious mumbo-jumbo." Ethan reached out again and slid his fingers over Spencer's arm.
"I'm not." Reid cleared his throat and shifted, but didn't tell Ethan to stop this time, even if he had tensed again. "There was nothing, though. I... thought there'd be... something. I guess maybe I'm unrealistically hopeful."
"You're not an atheist?" Ethan still looked interested as he turned Spencer's hand and ran his fingers over Spencer's palm, tracing his life line.
"I, ah... I don't know what I am."
Ethan watched him for a moment. "Are we still talking about religion?"
Spencer looked at him and swallowed. "I don't know." The button at Spencer's wrist was worked open, and there were chills running through Spencer at the way Ethan touched him, his pulse surely racing under Ethan's fingertips. "I'm not losing my virginity to someone who won't remember it later," he whispered after a long pause.
"Man, I'll remember," Ethan murmured, then shifted, slithering out of his chair and coming to his knees in front of Spencer.
"Marijuana has--"
Ethan pressed his finger to Spencer lips. "I've always liked you, Spence."
Spencer lips parted. "Why-- why didn't you ever--?"
Ethan laughed. "We were always competing." His hand slid up under Spencer shirt, tracing his fingers over Spencer's chest, brushing a thumb over his nipple.
Spencer sucked in a breath, already getting hard in spite of himself. "Ethan..."
"I'm not gonna fuck you if you don't want that."
Spencer stared down at him, panting softly. "What are you going to do?"
Ethan grinned, and pulled open Spencer's fly. "I'm going to show you a better way to get high."
Then Spencer was enveloped in delicious, wet heat, pleasure sparking through him like he'd never felt before. He moaned and shifted into it automatically, then closed his eyes and thought of someone with warm brown eyes, someone he knew he had no business fantasizing about, someone just out of his grasp...
Someone he knew would never have him now that he was damaged goods.
His chest ached, and he shoved his thoughts away, preferring to focus on the slide of lips and tongue against him.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 03:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 04:04 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it. Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 05:23 pm (UTC)and let him do all sorts of nasty things to Reid.This was awesome, of course. ;) YOU ARE MADE OF THE WIN!!!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 08:45 pm (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 10:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 10:06 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it! Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 10:07 pm (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-18 02:50 am (UTC)You know I love this. I love the ending, the bleakness of his thinking about someone who he is sure will consider him damaged goods (when we all know damn well that EVERYONE on that team is damaged in some way). And Ethan, who's always wanted him, and the way Ethan's frankly letting Spencer use him in a way, even if he's willing to be used...
Yeah, it's gorgeous and sad, and wonderful.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-18 12:09 pm (UTC)Oh, how I wish they would bring Ethan back and let him do all sorts of nasty things to Reid.*ahem* I agree with
Lovely fic! There needs to be more Ethan/Reid out there me thinks!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-18 02:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 02:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 12:18 am (UTC)I had a visceral connection to Spencer's vulnerability here. I got the impression (watching the episode in which Ethan appeared) that he felt terribly exposed when they were together. Ethan was a true peer in a way that none of Spencer's other colleagues could ever be. I imagine that Spencer could never get used to feeling vulnerable (except when in the capable hands of all his other sex partners in your fic). Even after sex, he'd still be wary of and tense around Ethan. So this would be a guilty, uncomfortable and ultimately disturbing experience for him.
There, there... Hotch/Morgan/David/Hotch & Morgan/all of the above will make it batter. ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 04:51 pm (UTC)Omg, and I don't know what but as soon as you've mentioned Reid thinking about someone with warm brown eyes, I was thinking about Rossi. *faints*
Maybe because I really love him, and I've just finished ep. 15x4 and...bla...dunno. Just thinking. *grins*
no subject
Date: 2009-02-21 02:07 pm (UTC)You make ME wibble. lol
Glad you liked it, dear! Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-21 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-21 02:10 pm (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-21 02:11 pm (UTC)Oh, and I LOVED 4x15! Mmmm, Rossi.
Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-26 12:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-24 05:55 am (UTC)I imagined Hotch.I also may have laughed inappropriately at Reid's choking on the toke. Hee!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-24 12:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-24 06:57 pm (UTC)