I am not human.

So the cm_remix fics posted so far aren't getting a whole lot of love, and I'm certain that this is because the watchers list on the comm is so teeny. All three fics posted so far are AWESOME (I'm refraining from commenting until it's all posted, so I don't give away which is mine, but trust me!), so I thought I'd link them here, since my flist is larger. Go read, enjoy, and leave a little feedback. It makes an author's day.

Charm Offensive (the Glenfiddich Remix): JJ/Emily, PG
Elizabeth Prentiss invites herself to Emily's for Thanksgiving. Neither of them are expecting what happens when Elizabeth speaks too freely in front of the team. (A remix of Of Mothers and Whiskey by elekanahmen.)

Classification: Morgan/Reid pre-slash, PG
Morgan’s relationship with Reid has been slowly changing. (A remix of "Come in from the Wilderness” and “Void of Form” by shinealightonme. The original fics can be found here and here.)

Mirror Image: Reid/Rossi and Reid/Reid, NC-17
Dave wants Spencer to experiment a little. (A remix of Me, Myself, and I by albydarned.)

Okay, I know one of you Paget whores out there has it. That picture of Paget in bra, panties, thigh-high stockings and garters, pls? *makes prettily blinky eyes* I will write you a possibly-smutty Prentiss drabble! :D Het or Femslash--I prefer to pair her with Rossi, Morgan, or JJ, though I'm willing to TRY anyone else except Gideon (you'll just likely get G/PG rated if you ask for anyone but the three listed).

ETA: WIFEY TO THE RESCUE! SMEXAH PAGET IN COMMENTS, ALONG WITH VIDS OF GIRL KISSING, AND GENERAL OMG ROOOOOWRNESS.

Also, did I dream this? I swear there's an episode in which Reid says something like, "I see a therapist ___ times a month. My mental health is not neglected." I cannot for the life of me find this quote, however, and I've watched all the eps in which I thought it might be in. Does this actually exist outside my mind? If so what episode is it in and how often was it he said he saw a shrink? *makes more blinky eyes*

ETA: shinealightonme has shed light (ha. hahaha. haha. Didn't mean that play on her LJ name, but there you go) on the second question: Bread is to Stone as Fish is to Serpent by Isilya was one of the first fics I read in the fandom, and clearly lodged itself (that line in particular) in my brain, in spite of having lost track of the fic. It's very good, if you haven't read it. (Of course, if Spencer in therapy is supported in canon, I'd love to know where. It totally works in my head.)

Also, re: request one: darkhawkhealer is offering girl porns for that pic as well in comments. :)

Two more cm_exchange recs! Jeeze, only three more gifts to even post! December has FLOWN!

Courtship Rituals (Hotch/Reid, FRT, ~10,800 words)

How much do I love this fic? THIS MUCH. It's funny, and sweet and well-paced. I love how Reid's attempts to seduce Hotch just snowball from a small awkward gesture to a much larger effort. Have I mentioned it's funny? There's not enough good humor in this fandom. Not to mention the use of Sean Hotchner in the plot, who is underused in the fandom and very well written here. Go read it.

I Never (Morgan/Reid, PG-13, ~2,600 words)

BAU + drinking games = Morgan finding out way more about his pretty boy than he or anyone else planned. This is funny in all the right spots, but it has some really poignant moments to balance it out. And all the characters are perfect. Plus, how can you resist sloppy, drunkenly affectionate Reid? How, I ask!

ETA: Bonus teeny random rec: On The Sidelines (Hotch/JJ, PG, ~500 words) ...I am trying valiantly to resist this pairing, but instead I'm falling hard (which is a bitch, because it's just about non-existent). This drabble is short but sweet and did nothing for my resolve to reseeeest, damn it. :P

So, some of you know, I have been doing my very best to read everything, as long as the warnings don't squick me, at cm_exchange this month regardless of pairings. So far, I've only had to say no to two due to pairing/warnings, though I'm getting to the longer fics at a slower pace. Still, even if I'm dragging behind a bit, the attempt to read out of my comfort zone has actually found me at least one pleasant surprise! Here are my cm_exchange recs so far.

- Make Your Own Luck (Morgan/Reid/Hotch, and various combinations within; NC-17)

GUH! This is just amazing. This fic has just a wonderful, gradual build and is laced with subtle humor. There were so many parts I love that I found it hard to contain my comment, and am actually having a hard time reccing it without wanting to blurt out all my favorite bits. LOL! Not only is the build up sweet and funny, but the sex is GORGEOUS too, and so realistic! Realistic sex = HAWT = FTW! Go read it! :DDDDDDDDDDDD

- Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are (JJ/Emily; NC-17)

You read right. Not only am I reccing femslash, but I'm reccing fic with JJ in it. Guys, I love this author's style--it's really beautiful--and anyone who can make me like femslash and JJ, two things that are usually not my cuppa? WINS in my book. I really liked the second person perspective on JJ in this fic, which actually helped me appreciate her more than I usually do. Omg, and the sex is just plain STEAMING. RAWR! :D

- Watch and Learn (Hotch/Reid; PG-13)

I think it's hard to do fic with little to no dialogue well, but this one does. Morgan's "voice" is strong throughout, and I think the "silence" actually lends itself to thefic, making the the moment that Morgan witnesses [/vague] that much more intimate for it. Lovely. :)

I totally just did.

I'm not sure why I was brave enough to click the link, but I clicked and I'm glad. So, I rec, because DUDE!

Seducing the Senses by skykissesthesea (FRT so far, Morgan/Rossi---the link I provided is too the tag for the fic on her LJ, as the chapters aren't linked in each post, sadly. Read from the bottom fic up!)

Three short chapters so far, no dialogue, and still so good. Well written, the characterization all around is spot on, and the last chapter, in particular, was HAWT. It's not the sekrit-romantic!Rossi that inhabits my head, but her (I assume) Rossi is still totally believable, and sexy as fuck. I mean, seriously sexy. *nods*

And it's Morgan/Rossi. And I LOVE it. And I'm reccing Morgan/Rossi. And... is this the Apocalypse?

Just sayin'.

.....

In other news, my lungs might be on the floor in a few minutes if I don't stop HACKING. Near constant ingestion of soup and tea have helped the horrible sore throat, but the coughing, man. MAKE IT STOP NAO PLS. :(