severity_softly | The Arduous Wooing [...] part IV: Lipstick, Howard/Vince (The Mighty Boosh), PG

Title: The Arduous Wooing of a Tall Northern Jazzy Freak, part IV: Lipstick
Author:

severity_softly
Fandom: The Mighty Boosh
Rating: PG
Pairing: Howard/Vince
Word count: ~1,000
Summary: The spray painted messages on the outside of the shop hadn't started as a joke at all.
Notes: A tag to "Eels". This is a new part of the series I've been writing. Suppose I should think of a name for it, huh? Any ideas? (Self-beta'd this time, so feel free to poke me if you see a rogue typo. *G*)

Previous Installments: 1. Nightmare After The Nightmare, 2. The Engine of an Aeroplane, 3. With Eyes Closed

The spray painted messages on the outside of the shop hadn't started as a joke at all. When Vince, Howard, Naboo, and Bollo all moved to the Nabootique, it was Vince that insisted he and Howard get separate bedrooms this time. He didn't want the temptation of crawling in bed with a man unwilling to admit his feelings for him.

Things were getting more normal for them, but Vince still felt a little betrayed. And since, for some reason, Vince never could seem to stay angry with Howard very long when they were together, Vince decided to express his anger another way when Howard wasn't around.

Howard Moon wears frilly knickers for money.

Howard Moon will dip his bits in jam and let you lick it off.

Vince got to say something catty without actually getting in a fight. Then he got to watch Howard get in a strop about it and scrub the words off, only for new ones to reappear the next day. After a while it just got funny. It was definitely more therapeutic than Vince had expected, and his anger started to ebb away quickly.

Howard Moon is hung like a donkey. Inquire inside.

By the time Howard found out Vince was behind it all, Vince was feeling better enough about their relationship that he actually felt a little guilty. Even if he was still amused. The amusement was just more difficult to muster when Howard was threatening to kill him.

Thankfully Howard got dragged off by the student loan people before that happened, and that was funny. Funny for a few hours, anyway, until Vince realized Howard hadn't come back. He went and sat behind the counter at the shop and waited, fiddling with the elbow patches. He played with Stapler Paul and Paper Clip Harry for a while, then put them back in Stationary Village where he thought they went. He beat out a random rhythm on the counter until he started to get tired and put his head down.

Vince jerked awake to the sound of the shop door opening some time later, and lifted a hand to his hair, dragging his fingers through it before rubbing at his eyes. He blinked, and was relieved to see Howard was standing just inside the shop. He looked like he'd been gutted. He still had lipstick smeared on his face that he must have missed the night before too.

"Howard," Vince said, standing and trying to shake the fog of dreams from his head.

"It was awful," Howard said, his voice hollow.

Vince frowned. "Howard," he repeated, and walked over to touch Howard's cheek. That snapped Howard out of his daze.

"Don't touch me," he said, looking at Vince.

"You look a mess," Vince said, withdrawing his hand. He could push the physical boundaries sometimes, but other times it wasn't a good idea. Considering whatever Howard had just been through with the student loan people, on top of unwillingly prostituting himself and nearly being killed earlier, Howard was having a bad couple of days. "You still have red on you," Vince said after a moment, pointing at a smudge of lipstick.

"The things they did, Vince. They were unspeakable," Howard muttered, walking toward the counter.

Vince followed. "What'd they do?"

"I just said it was unspeakable," Howard said tersely.

Vince nodded. "Oh, right."

Howard stopped and stared at Stationary Village for a moment, then lifted a hand to point at Stapler Paul, gaping and making funny squeaking noises as if appalled. Shit, Vince thought, but then Howard just let out a shaky breath and snatched one of his elbow patches off the display. He started to wipe at the lipstick on his face with it.

He was worse off than Vince had originally thought. He'd chosen the muffin coloured one, so the red of the lipstick didn't even begin to blend in.

"You're not going to get it off like that," Vince said, and grabbed Howard's elbow. Howard didn't protest. Vince suppressed a smile badly; he was always telling Vince not to touch him, then letting Vince touch him a few moments later.

Vince pulled Howard toward his bedroom, and Howard tensed. "What are we doing?"

Vince pursed his lips, but didn't answer. He just dragged Howard in front of the mirror in his room. He left him there and then went to get make up remover. When he came back, he started wiping at Howard's face, ignoring the way Howard instantly frowned and turned to stare at him as if he didn't understand what was happening.

"I'm still mad at you," Howard said a moment later. "You left me with that woman. You wrote all those things about me."

"It was just a joke," Vince said, glancing up to meet Howard's eyes. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and took a moment to adjust his hair from where sleeping at the counter had mussed it, then he looked back to the corner of Howard's mouth where he was wiping.

"It wasn't funny," Howard said, but his voice was still oddly gentle, almost as if he was entranced by what Vince was doing.

"Bollo and I thought it was pretty genius, actually," Vince replied, grinning.

"Bollo?" Howard said, tensing and pulling back slightly. Vince just grabbed his arm and held him still.

"Stop flinching," he said.

"I'm not flinching."

"You always flinch," Vince said, then looked back up at Howard. He sort of wanted to kiss him after what had happened in the last twenty-four hours, but that was too much. Instead he put his hand on Howard's waist. And Howard flinched. "See?"

"Vince..."

Vince leaned in and hugged him, and Howard's entire body went stiff as a board.

"Forgive me," Vince murmured. It wasn't really a request; it was more of a gentle order.

Howard made a strangled noise, and didn't return the hug... but he still managed to mutter, "I always do."

~
Next Installment: The Brain Cell That Wouldn't Shut Up
~