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severity_softlyTitle: The Arduous Wooing of a Tall Northern Jazzy Freak, part VII: Guillotine
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
severity_softly
Fandom: The Mighty Boosh
Rating: PG
Pairing: Howard/Vince
Word count: ~1,100
Summary: Howard and Vince talk after rescuing Naboo from execution.
Notes: A tag to "The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox". This is a new part of the series I've been writing. Beta'd byinnerslytherin.
Previous Installments: 1. Nightmare After The Nightmare, 2. The Engine of an Aeroplane, 3. With Eyes Closed, 4. Lipstick, 5. The Brain Cell That Wouldn't Shut Up, 6. Wife and... Wife
"It was sort of your fault," Vince said some time after they'd gotten back home from their ordeal with the Crack Fox. He'd collapsed in his chair with a magazine while Howard had set about tidying up.
Howard had been straightening Stationary Village. He was pretty sure that fox stole Highlighter Harry, even if he wasn't sure what it could have wanted with the bright blue knight. Maybe he'd initially read the instructions on Naboo's bottle wrong and thought it said 'highlight' instead of 'moon light'. Not that it mattered now.
Howard spared a moment to mourn the thought of Harry wasting away in the sewers, then turned a confused frown on Vince. "What?"
"Nothing," Vince said, turning back to his magazine.
"No, what?"
Vince put the magazine down in his lap and looked back at Howard. "I said 'it was sort of your fault.'"
Howard's mouth fell open a little. "What?"
"It was sort of your fault," Vince repeated. "Howard, I'm starting to think you need a hearing aid. I mean, I know you're sensitive about your age, but--"
"My fault?!"
Vince laughed and nodded. "Now you're getting it."
"How is it my fault?" Howard demanded, turning to face Vince fully and straightening to his full height.
"You did send me out to clean the rubbish up. You know people like me aren't made for that sort of thing. I'm made to sit around and look good."
For a moment, Howard found himself agreeing, and he tilted his head and nodded. "Fair enough." But then the reality of what happened hit him again. "Wait, no. You let a crack addicted fox into the shop, let him steal Naboo's potion, then let Naboo fire me for a cape, and it's my fault?"
"I did say 'sort of,'" Vince said, giving Howard a sheepish look.
"No, it's not sort of my fault. It's entirely your fault, sir," Howard said.
"Who sent me out back to pick up the rubbish?" Vince said.
"Who threw it out there in the first place instead of disposing of it in a designated refuse area?" Howard retorted.
Vince frowned, his expression thoughtful, then he nodded. "Yeah."
"That's right, 'yeah.'"
"Tonight was sort of exciting, though," Vince said, smiling again. It sometimes amazed Howard how quickly Vince could change emotions like that. He'd just gone from defensive, to thoughtful, to cheerful again all in about thirty seconds. "It was like playing superheroes."
"Naboo almost got killed," Howard replied, his voice flat.
"Yeah," Vince said, laughing. "They actually had a guillotine! Isn't that brilliant? I mean, who uses a guillotine in this day and age?!"
Howard just stared at him.
"Calm down, Howard" Vince said. He stood and crossed the room, then hopped onto the counter. When he turned on it to face Howard, that rubbery thing he was wearing squeaked against the glass. "Everything's all right now."
"I just cleaned that," Howard said, gesturing at where Vince was sitting on the counter.
"You can clean it again," Vince said.
"Oh, thanks," Howard said, his tone falsely casual.
"Anyway, Naboo's not even mad at us anymore," Vince said.
"Yes, I am," Naboo said, his voice drifting in from the next room.
Vince made a face, snickering like a kid whose secret had just been found out, and then he whispered, "You know he'll light one up later tonight, and he'll forget everything."
"I can still hear you, ballbag," Naboo said, shuffling out of the side room to stare at Vince.
"You love us," Vince said.
"Just you," Naboo replied.
Howard's lips thinned, but that really wasn't unexpected.
"We add character to the shop," Vince said.
"Pencil cases and feather boas?" Naboo asked, and Vince grinned and nodded. "Right. I'm off. Try not to burn the place down, yeah?"
"We wouldn't burn it down," Vince protested.
"I'd put the fire out if he tried, anyway," Howard added.
Naboo gave him a skeptical look. Howard plastered on a reassuring smile, but Naboo just left without another word.
Vince looked back at Howard, pressing his lips together in an obvious attempt to keep from grinning.
"What are you so happy about?" Howard snapped, even if he knew it didn't really take much at all to make Vince happy.
Vince's lips twisted into a wry smile. "Nothing," he said, then he buried his fingers in his hair and fluffed it. "My hair still looks really good," he said, checking himself out in the mirror behind Howard. "We ran about in the sewer and I still look fantastic." He lifted his legs and gestured at his boots and the bottom of his trousers. "Not a spot on them. It all just rolled off. Genius! I think I might buy one in every colour! Electric blue, neon yellow, flamingo pink..."
"Hmm," Howard hummed, wishing he could find it in himself to be more annoyed that Vince was so happy after the night they had.
"I've been meaning to tell you, though, you could really do with a wash," Vince said, and then Howard followed his gaze down to his own shoes and trousers, which were still filthy.
When Howard looked back up, Vince was giving him a suggestive look that sent a funny shiver through him. God. Vince hadn't touched Howard much since Howard bolted the night after the crimp off. Howard told himself fervently that he didn't miss it, but Vince kept giving him little looks like this that made Howard question if maybe he did miss it.
"Do you need help?" Vince said, his grin widening.
"Wh--what?" Howard stammered, his mind quickly going to the idea of Vince in his shower with him, touching him instead of Howard having to touch himself. "Help with what?"
Vince's smiled dimmed a little, but didn't disappear. He glanced down. "Burning those trousers and shoes."
Howard's lips pulled to the side as he looked back down, fighting the unexpected disappointment. His trousers were pretty disgusting, and he might never get the sewer smell out of them. "No, I'll do it myself."
"Good. You've needed to for ages." When Howard looked back up, frowning, Vince just smiled again. "Right. I'm off to bed then."
When he slid off the counter, he landed on his feet just inches from Howard and looked up at him for a moment. The proximity was equal parts frightening and stupidly exciting.
"Night, Howard," Vince said quietly. He stood there a moment longer. His smile went a bit funny when Howard didn't reply, but Howard felt suddenly incapable.
Vince just nodded at the silence. "Yeah," he said, then left the room.
~
Next Installment: Every Bit What It Looks Like
~
Author:
severity_softlyFandom: The Mighty Boosh
Rating: PG
Pairing: Howard/Vince
Word count: ~1,100
Summary: Howard and Vince talk after rescuing Naboo from execution.
Notes: A tag to "The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox". This is a new part of the series I've been writing. Beta'd by
innerslytherin.Previous Installments: 1. Nightmare After The Nightmare, 2. The Engine of an Aeroplane, 3. With Eyes Closed, 4. Lipstick, 5. The Brain Cell That Wouldn't Shut Up, 6. Wife and... Wife
"It was sort of your fault," Vince said some time after they'd gotten back home from their ordeal with the Crack Fox. He'd collapsed in his chair with a magazine while Howard had set about tidying up.
Howard had been straightening Stationary Village. He was pretty sure that fox stole Highlighter Harry, even if he wasn't sure what it could have wanted with the bright blue knight. Maybe he'd initially read the instructions on Naboo's bottle wrong and thought it said 'highlight' instead of 'moon light'. Not that it mattered now.
Howard spared a moment to mourn the thought of Harry wasting away in the sewers, then turned a confused frown on Vince. "What?"
"Nothing," Vince said, turning back to his magazine.
"No, what?"
Vince put the magazine down in his lap and looked back at Howard. "I said 'it was sort of your fault.'"
Howard's mouth fell open a little. "What?"
"It was sort of your fault," Vince repeated. "Howard, I'm starting to think you need a hearing aid. I mean, I know you're sensitive about your age, but--"
"My fault?!"
Vince laughed and nodded. "Now you're getting it."
"How is it my fault?" Howard demanded, turning to face Vince fully and straightening to his full height.
"You did send me out to clean the rubbish up. You know people like me aren't made for that sort of thing. I'm made to sit around and look good."
For a moment, Howard found himself agreeing, and he tilted his head and nodded. "Fair enough." But then the reality of what happened hit him again. "Wait, no. You let a crack addicted fox into the shop, let him steal Naboo's potion, then let Naboo fire me for a cape, and it's my fault?"
"I did say 'sort of,'" Vince said, giving Howard a sheepish look.
"No, it's not sort of my fault. It's entirely your fault, sir," Howard said.
"Who sent me out back to pick up the rubbish?" Vince said.
"Who threw it out there in the first place instead of disposing of it in a designated refuse area?" Howard retorted.
Vince frowned, his expression thoughtful, then he nodded. "Yeah."
"That's right, 'yeah.'"
"Tonight was sort of exciting, though," Vince said, smiling again. It sometimes amazed Howard how quickly Vince could change emotions like that. He'd just gone from defensive, to thoughtful, to cheerful again all in about thirty seconds. "It was like playing superheroes."
"Naboo almost got killed," Howard replied, his voice flat.
"Yeah," Vince said, laughing. "They actually had a guillotine! Isn't that brilliant? I mean, who uses a guillotine in this day and age?!"
Howard just stared at him.
"Calm down, Howard" Vince said. He stood and crossed the room, then hopped onto the counter. When he turned on it to face Howard, that rubbery thing he was wearing squeaked against the glass. "Everything's all right now."
"I just cleaned that," Howard said, gesturing at where Vince was sitting on the counter.
"You can clean it again," Vince said.
"Oh, thanks," Howard said, his tone falsely casual.
"Anyway, Naboo's not even mad at us anymore," Vince said.
"Yes, I am," Naboo said, his voice drifting in from the next room.
Vince made a face, snickering like a kid whose secret had just been found out, and then he whispered, "You know he'll light one up later tonight, and he'll forget everything."
"I can still hear you, ballbag," Naboo said, shuffling out of the side room to stare at Vince.
"You love us," Vince said.
"Just you," Naboo replied.
Howard's lips thinned, but that really wasn't unexpected.
"We add character to the shop," Vince said.
"Pencil cases and feather boas?" Naboo asked, and Vince grinned and nodded. "Right. I'm off. Try not to burn the place down, yeah?"
"We wouldn't burn it down," Vince protested.
"I'd put the fire out if he tried, anyway," Howard added.
Naboo gave him a skeptical look. Howard plastered on a reassuring smile, but Naboo just left without another word.
Vince looked back at Howard, pressing his lips together in an obvious attempt to keep from grinning.
"What are you so happy about?" Howard snapped, even if he knew it didn't really take much at all to make Vince happy.
Vince's lips twisted into a wry smile. "Nothing," he said, then he buried his fingers in his hair and fluffed it. "My hair still looks really good," he said, checking himself out in the mirror behind Howard. "We ran about in the sewer and I still look fantastic." He lifted his legs and gestured at his boots and the bottom of his trousers. "Not a spot on them. It all just rolled off. Genius! I think I might buy one in every colour! Electric blue, neon yellow, flamingo pink..."
"Hmm," Howard hummed, wishing he could find it in himself to be more annoyed that Vince was so happy after the night they had.
"I've been meaning to tell you, though, you could really do with a wash," Vince said, and then Howard followed his gaze down to his own shoes and trousers, which were still filthy.
When Howard looked back up, Vince was giving him a suggestive look that sent a funny shiver through him. God. Vince hadn't touched Howard much since Howard bolted the night after the crimp off. Howard told himself fervently that he didn't miss it, but Vince kept giving him little looks like this that made Howard question if maybe he did miss it.
"Do you need help?" Vince said, his grin widening.
"Wh--what?" Howard stammered, his mind quickly going to the idea of Vince in his shower with him, touching him instead of Howard having to touch himself. "Help with what?"
Vince's smiled dimmed a little, but didn't disappear. He glanced down. "Burning those trousers and shoes."
Howard's lips pulled to the side as he looked back down, fighting the unexpected disappointment. His trousers were pretty disgusting, and he might never get the sewer smell out of them. "No, I'll do it myself."
"Good. You've needed to for ages." When Howard looked back up, frowning, Vince just smiled again. "Right. I'm off to bed then."
When he slid off the counter, he landed on his feet just inches from Howard and looked up at him for a moment. The proximity was equal parts frightening and stupidly exciting.
"Night, Howard," Vince said quietly. He stood there a moment longer. His smile went a bit funny when Howard didn't reply, but Howard felt suddenly incapable.
Vince just nodded at the silence. "Yeah," he said, then left the room.
~
Next Installment: Every Bit What It Looks Like
~
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 11:57 am (UTC)Thanks!
(Eep, and Naboo icon is so cute! *G*)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 09:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 11:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 12:00 pm (UTC)I assume "phwoargh" is good. ;) Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 12:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 12:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 04:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 02:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 03:02 pm (UTC)Hey, I was told you (if I remember correctly) are familiar with RPGs in the fandom? Is that right? I've been looking for one to no avail.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 03:15 pm (UTC)There's a list of all the characters that are taken up there. It's been going on for about seven months now so there's EPIC backstory with a lot of characters now lol
no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 08:29 pm (UTC)Loved it so much, poor Howard needs a hug and Naboo is just genius!
PS love your header!
xxx
no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 09:53 pm (UTC)Thank you. I'm finally starting to get into Naboo. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 11:00 pm (UTC)We all love a bit of Naboo.lol =]
xxx
no subject
Date: 2009-08-17 10:03 pm (UTC)Great job, as usual. :D
no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 01:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-22 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-10 03:53 am (UTC)AHAYES.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-10 04:43 am (UTC)