Crack drabble, inspired by my last post (and comments to it)

[severity_softly]

Title: Hoo-ha
Rating: Hard R
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Words: less than 300
Summary: Severus doesn't know any sexy words for his new genitals.
Warnings: genderfuck, CRACK, utter fail at being sexy ;)
A/N: Inspired by this post. hiddenfantsy's fault. And... I think I have enough shame reserve not to post this to any comms. :)

Severus arched up, meeting Remus' body and rocking against it as much as he could manage with Remus pinning his wrists.  "So... damp.  So unbelievably fucking wet."

"Yeah?"  Remus kissed him, dragging Severus' lower lip through his teeth before moving to clamp them down over the taught muscle along Severus' neck.  "How else does it feel?"

"Like a... contracting... clenching... not sure," Severus managed to moan in between heavy breaths.

Remus lowered himself and now his cock was pressed against Severus' groin. When Severus rocked up, the hardness brushed against his clitoris and he trembled, gasping.  "Oh, my God!  That's... amazing..." 

"What?" 

Remus was enjoying that Severus was enjoying his new body a little too much, there would be plenty of time for him to describe it later and Severus was not a man known for his patience.  "Christ, Remus, just fuck me!"

"Where? Tell me," Remus growled the command.

"In my hoo-ha! Please!"  Severus twisted his hands against Remus' grip, about to attempt to gain further friction against his groin when Remus pulled back without a word.  He opened his eyes to see Remus looking at him quizzically.  "What?"

"Did you just say 'hoo-ha?'"

"I--" Severus' eyes flicked away, staring at a point on the ceiling for amoment as if it would give him the answer as to why this had thrown Remus, but only looked back at Remus to repeat, "What?"



It was certainly valiant effort, the way Remus held in his laughter until doing so became physically painful, but Severus didn't appreciate it regardless.

Comments

[ellid.livejournal.com]

*giggles hysterically*

Will he now star in the Hoo-Ha Monologues?

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

*cracks up*

"My hoo-ha is an angry hoo-ha."

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Dear God, I can *so* say Severus doing that one, and of course you'd believe it, coming from him.

[mosaic.livejournal.com]

I really want to read this... but I'm in class. Boo.

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

Yep, best wait. *taunts you*

[mosaic.livejournal.com]

You suck.

[mosaic.livejournal.com]

That was amazing. You make me happy.

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

*G* Yay!

[pervert-bitch.livejournal.com]

*snorts*

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

*G*

[hiddenfantasy.livejournal.com]

...

o.O
O.o
O.O

LMFAO!

I'm going to have to hurt you now, but that was fucking priceless! And holy fuck, you could not have written Remus better! Because, holy shit, I would've written the same fucking thing!

I love you. So much!

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

LOL! :D Glad you liked it! Ooooh, hurt me.

[purplefluffycat.livejournal.com]

*splutters*

Poor Severus, and in his time of need!

PurpleFluffyCat x

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

Seriously, Remus should have just let it go. XD

Thanks!

[daintress.livejournal.com]

Always know the correct terminology before experimenting with unfamiliar genitalia. Lol! This was really hysterical! Thanks. :)

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it! :D

[osmalic.livejournal.com]

*rotflmao* OH MY GOD, that absolutely made my day. I snorted and laughed publicly, thankyouverymuch. :D Poor Severus.

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

Hee! Glad to amuse! :D