Tennessee Conference of Young People in AA

[severity_softly]

Omg you guys, I can barely keep my eyes open. You'll have to excuse typos, as I am having issues reading/seeing. Yes, I am that tired. I've been awake three hours and am on my third Vault. I may have a stroke before I actually wake up. :/

I'm tired because I couldn't go to sleep last night. Yesterday I went to TCYPAA (which is pronounced tick-ee-pah, and stands for Tennessee Conference of Young People in AA). I went alone and was nervous about that. My sponsor, C, was helping organize the conference, but I expected not to really see her (or anyone I knew--the other two people I know who went left before I got there). Thankfully, that wasn't the case.

I got there around 4 and went to the book study on the "We Agnostics" chapter. I was hoping it would be about being an agnostic in AA and how to deal with the God stuff. Instead it was all about finding God. innerslytherin said maybe it was God trying to tell me something. I told her to stfu. ;)

C plunked down next to me during it, though, and stayed for the rest of the meeting. She handed me a banquet ticket, too. I was just going to eat the free food in the little room off the lobby (it was held at the Crown Plaza downtown), but I think she got a ticket(s?) free for working the event, so I got to eat a fantastic Italian buffet in the ballroom, and actually sit with people I knew.

I was expecting TCYPAA to be huge, and was sort of disappointed that it wasn't, but that was before the speaker meeting. The ballroom was lined with chairs all the way to the back of the room, and I thought there was no way they were going to be filled. But they filled every single seat. The speaker meeting was HUGE! And rowdy! And fun! There were people that came in from other states just to come to TCYPAA. The speaker had some really horrible things he'd done and had happen in his life, but he was really funny too, so it never got too heavy or depressing.

I really enjoyed it. It set me back about $26 (including parking), and that's gonna hurt. It already is, actually. But I'm glad I went. I think it was an important thing for me to attend. I got a lot out of it.

It was the reason I couldn't sleep, though. I got in bed at 10:30, but laid in bed thinking about it until I finally feel asleep around midnight. Ugh. I wish I'd wake up. I wonder if coffee would help or just make me shaky after three Vaults. *sigh* How are you all?

Comments

[katewallace.livejournal.com]

It's great that you got to go to this and that you felt it was worthwhile.
I'm also glad you found people you knew there, so you didn't feel so alone. It's hard to go places by yourself...if I'm out somewhere like that, most of the time I end up standing by myself and just watching people.

Me? Sleepy..I've been staying up way too late watching the Olympics. Didn't get to bed until 3:00am and got up at 9:00. Extra stuff to do at work tonight because it's the end of the month. Will I have more people to help me out because of that?....As if! But there's a new CM on Wednesday and I have tomorrow off, so I will be positive..I can get through today and then I can collapse tomorrow!

Don't know about the coffee, though..might be too much caffeine for your system...diet Pepsi/Coke maybe? Be well, my friend. *hugs*

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

I told people that maybe if I look pathetic enough people would talk to me. I'm glad I didn't have to employ that tactic. :)

You know, I really wanted to catch all the figure skating, but I missed it all! :( I wonder if someplace like Hulu or YouTube has it. Either way, I hope you get all the stuff you need to do done. It sucks to be the only one doing all the work. *hugs*

I'm starting to feel more awake now. I think. We'll see if it lasts. So far every time I've woken up, I've start to go back to sleep again.

[katewallace.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

I would think that someone, somewhere, has the figure skating. I hope you can stay awake..I've had days like that, it's hard. But I'm really glad you had a good experience at the
Conference.

[mcgarrygirl78.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you ran into people you knew and got a banquet ticket. Non-free free food FTW!!!

It kinda sucks the "We agnostics" program wasnt what you wanted it to be. People are who they are and they shouldnt have to feel compelled to find a "higher power" in their battle to be sober...the battle is hard enough. Of course I can see why finding a power bigger than yourself is needed. Just call me a devil's advocate as I STFU : )

I'm glad you went, I'm glad you weren't alone, and I'm glad you got so much out of it as that's what it was for.

As for the coffee, I say yes, but maybe wait a little while, like an hour or so and get a cup.

ILU <3<3<3

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can see how a power greater than me is needed. I would use AA as a whole, actually, but the literature goes on to start calling the higher power God. And I would feel weird calling AA God, you know?

I'm glad I went too. I was seriously debating whether I wanted to because of the money thing. I sort of regret the cask being gone now, but I think overall it was worth it.

I'm starting to finally wake up, so I don't think the coffee is necessary anymore. :)

ILU2! (And thank you for commenting over at TTC! I love having conversations over there. It's sort of the point of the site, you know?)

[mcgarrygirl78.livejournal.com]

I see your point with AA being the higher power, and the power of togetherness as well as they encourage sponsorship and the like, I can see that point clearly. But calling AA God is a little weird. If it gets you through though, it can be as weird as it wants to be.

I really like TTC. I dont always respond to episode reviews but I found that conversation to awesome to resist. I was glad to see a lot of people did : )

I need coffee.....off I go to find some.

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I saw some of the response on LJ over the article. I sort of wish more of them had commented at TTC, though. I mean, I can't blame them, but it's not hard to comment at the website, you know? Makes me feel god. :P

Go get some coffee in you. I'll just be jealous. :P

[nebula99.livejournal.com]

I would usually vote for coffee but I don't know what Vault is, so I'll sit on the fence.

Your conference sounds like it gave you a lot to think about - which seems to be a good thing? I'm a little bit bleary eyed now also - but I think I may have put my contact lenses in the wrong eyes. *g*

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

Vault is a highly caffeinated soda. You know, sometimes I wish I could just send you stuff. Like Vault and Velveeta shells and cheese and other stuff you don't have out there. lol And Krispy Kremes! *g*

Oh, that is the worst. I get dizzy when I mix up my contacts.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

I know non-God AA literature used to exist. It's a little odd, but fifteen plus years ago it was available. If you think it would help you, I'll see if I can try to track it down. (I was never AA, but one of my therapists tried to get me into Al-Anon and I did lots of research.)

It sounds like this was important for you. Caffeine is probably a bad idea, but a little stretching or a walk may physically tire you to the point where you could nap. *G*

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking about trying al-anon myself, actually. And my mother showed interest, so I may see if she'll go with me. My dad is a bit of a drunk himself.

I never even considered non-God AA stuff. I would have never thought it existed. Yeah, if you could figure out where I can get it, that would be great!

And unfortunately I can't nap at work. :( Sad, but true.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'd missed the "at work" part. Sorry.

I'm looking and I think I may have conflated it with S.O.S. (Secular Organization for Sobriety) or Rational Recovery. If you feel AA is working for you, find a nice tree to make your higher power. If you're having problems, look into those others.

I didn't go to Al-Anon, other than the one meeting, because my issue was the fact that I was not taking control of my own life. The last thing I needed, at that point and even though I was a believer, was to hand over my life to God. Again, if you think it's the right thing for you, the people I met were kind and helpful and it provided a perspective that I was glad to have been exposed to.

[severity-softly.livejournal.com]

I did actually look into SOS. There aren't any meetings in my area, though, and I wouldn't feel comfortable starting one. I do really like the people I've met in AA too, so it's worth coming back. I've been toying with making the entire universe my higher power. It's definitely bigger and more mysterious than me.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

The universe is a good choice. It's mysteries may not, technically, be infinite, but they're more than any one person can comprehend in a lifetime. And there are so many marvels. Fractals. Terriers. Elements.