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severity_softlySo last night I went to a local writer's group with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
carolinecrane. I was really ridiculously nervous, and I think I was shaking at first. Stupid social phobia. But I made myself go for exactly that reason. I want to get the fuck over that stupid part of me that always assumes I'm going to make an idiot out of myself, or believes that no one will like me. Stupid, huh? Yeah, I know. But it takes time to get over deeply held beliefs about yourself, even when people act otherwise/tell me otherwise.
Anyway, it was a group of strangers to us both, and it turned out to be... interesting. As Caroline said, some of the members might actually be worth it, while others, not so much. There was one guy that actually reminded me a lot of my dad. Major control issues. Another guy talked on and on, and did a little show and tell of his book, then read an excerpt of his book that equated gay people with murderers and whores. Yeah, I could go without ever seeing that guy again. I plan to go to a few more meetings with Caroline to see if it's worth my time, though. I might be pleasantly surprised with smaller "splinter groups" (that will hopefully not be of interest to those two guys), and if I'm not, I can walk away without strings.
So anyway, I am sitting here bored at work. Somehow it's better than bored at home, because bored at home brings the depression more often. I need to write up a huge list of things that need to be done (like clean, reorganize the cupboards, etc) and actually use it when I get bored. Maybe that will help. For right now? Entertain me, guys, if you will. Tell me a story, write me a fic, anything. A little Rossi/Prentiss fluff would be nice. Or anything, really.
carolinecrane. I was really ridiculously nervous, and I think I was shaking at first. Stupid social phobia. But I made myself go for exactly that reason. I want to get the fuck over that stupid part of me that always assumes I'm going to make an idiot out of myself, or believes that no one will like me. Stupid, huh? Yeah, I know. But it takes time to get over deeply held beliefs about yourself, even when people act otherwise/tell me otherwise.Anyway, it was a group of strangers to us both, and it turned out to be... interesting. As Caroline said, some of the members might actually be worth it, while others, not so much. There was one guy that actually reminded me a lot of my dad. Major control issues. Another guy talked on and on, and did a little show and tell of his book, then read an excerpt of his book that equated gay people with murderers and whores. Yeah, I could go without ever seeing that guy again. I plan to go to a few more meetings with Caroline to see if it's worth my time, though. I might be pleasantly surprised with smaller "splinter groups" (that will hopefully not be of interest to those two guys), and if I'm not, I can walk away without strings.
So anyway, I am sitting here bored at work. Somehow it's better than bored at home, because bored at home brings the depression more often. I need to write up a huge list of things that need to be done (like clean, reorganize the cupboards, etc) and actually use it when I get bored. Maybe that will help. For right now? Entertain me, guys, if you will. Tell me a story, write me a fic, anything. A little Rossi/Prentiss fluff would be nice. Or anything, really.
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I just have to say "I TOLD YOU SO"
Date: 2010-02-21 06:24 pm (UTC)<3
Re: I just have to say "I TOLD YOU SO"
Date: 2010-02-21 06:29 pm (UTC)Re: I just have to say "I TOLD YOU SO"
Date: 2010-02-21 06:34 pm (UTC)*squishes*
Re: I just have to say "I TOLD YOU SO"
Date: 2010-02-21 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-21 06:40 pm (UTC)Not stupid! I have the same problem..on LJ it translates into being surprised (and sometimes almost overwhelmed if it's someone who's writing I admire ) when someone 'friends' me. Seriously, I'm thinking ' why would they want to 'friend' me? ' And yes, it does take time to get over this sort of thing, but, believe me, you're not alone out there!
And I'm glad you went to the meeting, it sounds interesting (except for the two guys..yikes!).
Can't really help with the rest of it, sorry. But I hope your day get less boring (but not too exciting!) *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2010-02-21 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 03:03 am (UTC)Nobody thought you were weird because they were all too busy thinking I was kind of a bitch. (Spoiler alert: I am!) Thanks for going with me. If I didn't have you to witness it with me I might have thought I hallucinated a lot of that weirdness. (The giant roll-out panoramic picture? What was that even about??)
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 06:57 pm (UTC)IKR! WTF? What would even posses someone to bring that to a writer's group? Seriously, I think we were the coolest people there, and that's saying a lot. ;)