I am not human.

So last night I went to a local writer's group with carolinecrane. I was really ridiculously nervous, and I think I was shaking at first. Stupid social phobia. But I made myself go for exactly that reason. I want to get the fuck over that stupid part of me that always assumes I'm going to make an idiot out of myself, or believes that no one will like me. Stupid, huh? Yeah, I know. But it takes time to get over deeply held beliefs about yourself, even when people act otherwise/tell me otherwise.

Anyway, it was a group of strangers to us both, and it turned out to be... interesting. As Caroline said, some of the members might actually be worth it, while others, not so much. There was one guy that actually reminded me a lot of my dad. Major control issues. Another guy talked on and on, and did a little show and tell of his book, then read an excerpt of his book that equated gay people with murderers and whores. Yeah, I could go without ever seeing that guy again. I plan to go to a few more meetings with Caroline to see if it's worth my time, though. I might be pleasantly surprised with smaller "splinter groups" (that will hopefully not be of interest to those two guys), and if I'm not, I can walk away without strings.

So anyway, I am sitting here bored at work. Somehow it's better than bored at home, because bored at home brings the depression more often. I need to write up a huge list of things that need to be done (like clean, reorganize the cupboards, etc) and actually use it when I get bored. Maybe that will help. For right now? Entertain me, guys, if you will. Tell me a story, write me a fic, anything. A little Rossi/Prentiss fluff would be nice. Or anything, really.

Well, I got up early today and read the first page of my flist (just the personal journals). I think I'm going to start doing that in the mornings now, since I'm getting up so much earlier than I used to. I've become really bad about reading it lately, so I'm sorry if I've been absent. I was talking to mcgarrygirl78 this morning about what a struggle it is to get through reading something lately. But this morning I read my flist instead of vegging and watching TV (on the computer), and I feel like I had a more productive start to my morning. So I think it's a habit I need to get into.

Anyway, my "old food adventure" is going quite well so far. It's 4 to my stomach (potatoes, hominy, beans and Ramen), and 0 to the old food (not including the stuff I tossed for smelling bad). It seems, so far, that the veggies have been okay, and the pastas are not. It's like the pastas seem to be leaching metal from the can. If I open one more can of pasta that smells so strongly of metal that it makes me sick, I'm tossing it all.

So speaking of mcgarrygirl78, I have a meme she posted, and she gave me the five words below the cut.

1. REPLY TO THIS MEME BY YELLING "MY NAME IS THE MASTER", AND I WILL GIVE YOU FIVE WORDS THAT REMIND ME OF YOU. (ETA: You don't really have to say that for me. Just tell me you want to do it.)
2. THEN POST THEM IN YOUR JOURNAL AND EXPLAIN WHAT THEY MEAN TO YOU.
3. KEEP IN MIND THAT IF I DON'T KNOW YOU THAT WELL, YOUR WORDS MIGHT END UP KIND OF ODD OR WEIRD. IF I DO KNOW YOU, YOUR WORDS WILL MAYBE PROBABLY BE WEIRD.

( my five words )